Pancake from a flying saucer

Here’s a weird tale about a [[ pancake ]] that had been made aboard a UFO

from Passport to Magonia by Jacques Vallee:

IT WAS an unusual day for the Food and Drug Laboratory of the U.S. Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, when the Air Force requested an analysis of a piece of wheat cake that had been cooked . . . aboard a flying saucer! The human being who had obtained the cake was Joe Simonton, a sixty-year-old chicken farmer who lived alone in a small house in the vicinity of Eagle River, Wisconsin. He was given three cakes, ate one of them, and thought it “tasted like cardboard.” The Air Force put it more scientifically:

The cake was composed of hydrogenated fat, starch, buckwheat hulls, soya bean hulls, wheat bran. Bacteria and radiation readings were normal for this material. Chemical, infra-red and other destructive type tests were run on this material. The Food and Drug Laboratory of the U.S. Department of Health, Education and Welfare concluded that the material was an ordinary pancake of terrestrial origin. Where did it come from? The reader will have to decide for himself what he chooses to believe after reading this second chapter. It begins with the Eagle River incident because this is a firsthand account, given by a man of absolute sincerity. Speaking for the U.S. Air Force, Dr. }. Allen Hynck, who investigated the case along with Major Robert Friend and an officer from Sawyer Air Force Base, stated: “There is no question that Mr. Simonton felt that his contact had been a real experience.”

The time was approximately 11:00 A.M. on April 18, 1961, when Joe Simonton was attracted outside by a peculiar noise similar to “knobby tires on a wet pavement.” Stepping into his yard, he faced a silvery saucer-shaped object “brighter than chrome,” which appeared to be hovering close to the ground without actually touching it. The object was about twelve feet high and thirty feet in diameter. A hatch opened about five feet from the ground, and Simonton saw three men inside the machine. One of them was dressed in a black two-piece suit. The occupants were about five feet in height. Smooth shaven, they appeared to “resemble Italians.” They had dark hair and skin and wore outfits with turtleneck tops and knit helmets.

One of the men held up a jug apparently made of the same material as the saucer. His motions to Joe Simonton seemed to indicate that he needed water. Simonton took the jug, went inside the house, and filled it. As he returned, he saw that one of the men iviside the saucer was “frying food on a flameless grill of some sort.” The interior of the ship was black, “the color of wrought iron.” Simonton, who could sec several instrument panels, heard a slow whining sound, similar to the hum of a generator. When he made a motion indicating he was interested in the food that was being prepared, one of the men, who was also dressed in black but with a narrow red trim along the trousers, handed him three cookies, about three inches in diameter and perforated with small holes.

The whole affair had lasted about five minutes. Finally, the man closest to the witness attached a kind of belt to a hook in his clothing and closed the hatch in such a way that Simonton could scarcely detect its outline. Then the object rose about twenty feet from the ground before taking oif straight south, causing a blast of air that bowed some nearby pine trees.

Along the edge of the saucer, the witness recalls, were exhaust pipes six or seven inches in diameter. The hatch was about six feet high and thirty inches wide, and although the object has always been described as a saucer, its shape was that of two inverted bowls.

When two deputies sent by Sheriff Schroeder, who had known Simonton for fourteen years, arrived on the scene, they could not find any corroborative evidence. The sheriff affirmed that the witness obviously believed the truth of what he was saying and talked very sensibly about the incident.

The Eagle River case has never been solved. The Air Force believes that Joe Simonton, who lived alone, had a sudden dream while he was awake and inserted his dream into the continuum of events around him of which he was conscious. I understand several psychologists in Dayton, Ohio, are quite satisfied with this explanation, and so are most serious amateur ufologists. Alas! Ufology, like psychology, has become such a narrow field of specialization that the experts have no time left for general culture. They are so busy rationalizing the dreams of other people that they themselves do not dream anymore, nor do they read fairy tales. If they did, they would perhaps take a much closer look at Joe Simonton and his pancakes. They would know about the Gentry and the food from fairyland.

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